Save Versus All Wands

A Magic-User Serving the Cause of Chaos

Well, there are two.

First, the results of the name shortening poll. As might have been expected, there was no winner of a majority of votes. Here is the final tally of the votes contained in the seventy-four comments that made it in before the end of the week-long deadline:

Name	Votes	Vote%

Zylarthen	18.83	25%
7VoZ	17.25	23%
Seven Voyages	11.50	16%
SVoZ	9.58	13%
7VZ	5.00	7%
7v	4.50	6%
SVZ	2.33	3%
7Z	2.00	3%
Seven	1.00	1%
Seven Voyages of Zylarthen	1.00	1%
Voyages	1.00	1%

The above looks like the sort of results you get in those European parliamentary votes with all of those fringe parties and people who want to sell things. In the United States, we never have close or ambiguous elections.*

Notes on my counting methodology:

Some submitted suggestions for a spoken shortening versus a written shortening. In those cases the written shortening was counted.
Some submitted two or more suggestions. In cases where the commenter said something like, 'A or better B', I counted B. In cases where the commenter said something like, 'A or B', I gave A and B a fractional vote.
Gorgonmilk was allowed to change his vote. Luckily, this didn't change the results (although it almost did!).
Porphyre77 compared a particular selection to a place referred to in a Queen song. This was interpreted as a positive vote.
Obviously, the glaring thing here is that if certain tendencies had been combined, the winner might have been different. For example, the 39% of 7VoZ plus SVoZ would have swamped the 25% of Zylarthen. But then again, the 41% of Zylarthen plus Seven Voyages would have narrowly beaten that. I think there's probably at least a small majority feeling for some sort of 'cool' abbreviated answer--the sum of 7VoZ, SVoZ, 7VZ, 7V and 7Z totals 54%. I only mentioned one such abbreviation in my initial list of possibilities, but five emerged. That says something.

But in my own writing, I'm going to stick with 'Zylarthen', emboldened in a small way, by its admittedly narrow 'win'. To be honest, I didn't expect it to get so many votes, since up until the contest I hadn't really seen very many people use it. Perhaps I prejudiced the vote. I don't know. But I am also even more persuaded by those who referred to the uniqueness of the Googling results, as well as the strangeness or possible evocative nature of it. Of course, I'm still totally in favor of others using a different shortening. Perhaps in time Zylarthen (or or 7VoZ/SVoZ) will emerge as a clearer favorite. So, to paraphrase E.M. Forster, two cheers for diversity!

Second, who won the contest for the hard-copy version of the game (or one of the Lulu alternatives)? I know, but I'm not telling, quite yet. The winner will be revealed within the next few hours or perhaps even minutes. Jason McCartan, otherwise known as 'The Badger' or 'Teh Bagder' agreed to post a roll on on one of those public random generator sites.

Jason runs the uniquely informative OSR Today site as well as co-anchoring the new Tenkar and the Badger podcast. If you haven't checked those out, I urge you to. Among other things, the first episode of the Podcast has a great interview with Matt Finch of Frog God games.

I goofed on relating to Jason the precise number of qualified entries--it was 74 not 76--but luckily 75 or 76 did not come up. The number was pegged to a chronological listing of comments. The winner will have one week to come foreword. Email me at ospalding@saveversusallwands.com with your address and prize preference--Zylarthen or the three other products.

Thank you for your comments. I really appreciate your input and support. And I apologize for being a bit tardy on wrapping things up.

Next, a Jack Vance dialogue contest?...

*This lying thing just has to stop.

Er, okay.

What is Appendix C?

Appendix C is the list of 'classic' great books that are allegedly light years above, in terms of profundity and intellectual heft, what most people usually read. Here is a partial enumeration:

Ernest Hemingway, A Farewell to Arms
Shakespeare, anything he wrote
Friedrich Nietzsche, Thus Spake Zarathustra
Leo Guanzhong, Romance of the Three Kingdoms
Hesiod, The Theogony
I Ching
Francois Rabelais, Gargantua and Pantagruel
John Milton, Paradise Lost
Farid ud-Din Attar, The Conference of the Birds
Plato, anything he wrote
Edward Gibbon, The History of the Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire

This is taken from suggestions made by RPGPundit in his recent blog post "Screw 'Appendix N'!" (I stole my title from him.)

Well screw that. (As the Pundit might say. The 'screw' thing is of course taken from the Pundit. But no, I won't lower myself even further by repeating his use of the 'p' word.)

Whoa! Before this gets too heated, let's step back a bit. Am I suggesting that all of the above works are not worth reading (in some sense of the phrase)? No. Am I suggesting that, all things being equal, they're not all on average more worth reading than, say, a random selection from the shelves of Barnes & Noble? No (though, since they're on average longer, and life is finite, all things may not be equal).

I am suggesting that putting them on a pedestal and implying that all (without exception) are just so much better for you to ingest than any of the books on that other Appendix, is just so much bilge.

According to the Pundit, the works on Appendix N are only 1% better than the most hack-like romance novels or TV show tie-ins. Hemingway is 99% better. Hemingway? Seriously? That's bilge.

We all know what other books are on Appendix C. We read (or at least we were assigned) many of them in high-school and college. The list features mostly dead white males, of course. But recently more and more dead white females and dead 'people of color' have been appended to it. A few of them may not even be dead, but if not, they're probably pretty elderly and aren't writing anything, or at least not writing anything worthwhile anymore. Occasionally they make speeches at book festivals.

Who created the list? No one in particular or exclusively. But many participated. That hippy high-school teacher with the 'Speak Truth to Power' stickers on his office door, and who thinks Bush and Cheney stole the 2000 election helped to perpetuate the list, though he added Virginia Woolf and Alice Walker to it. So did the grey-haired college professor with the pipe, the one that none of his colleagues speak to because he didn't think Bush and Cheney stole the 2000 election, though he threw in a few more Romans and Greeks to it. Mortimer Adler, one of the greatest intellectual hacks of the 20th century, also stands accused. So does William Bennett. Alexander Macris, whose 'Ted-Talk' the Pundit cites approvingly, is also part of the problem.

Ted-Talks are the Star Trek novels of the half-educated.

So why am I against Appendix C? Well, to be frank, many of these works (to again, speak like the Pundit) sort of suck. Gibbon's opus is a misleading and often inaccurate anti-Christian screed. Nietzsche was insane. Virtually all of his 'arguments' are either tautological and thus trivial, obviously invalid, or feature conclusions (deduced from false premises) that are morally repellent. Plato is the most overrated philosopher in history (which obviously says a lot). John Stuart Mill isn't on the above list, but he's on the larger list. Don't even get me started with him.

But don't you need to know who these people are and what their arguments are (such as they are) in order to get along at certain types of cocktail parties? Well, yes. Or at least, yes, if you're not good-looking or charming enough to succeed without answering Great Books trivia questions. But I didn't know we were talking about cocktail parties.

Look, the above are just my opinions. I completely and utterly concede that. But that's precisely the point. Don't blindly take my word for any of it. But by the same token, don't take anyone else's word that all of these books are a hundred times better for you than reading another Conan novel. They might be. But then again, they might not.

By all means, read. Read a lot. Read outside of your ideological boundaries and preconceptions. No one I know treats Appendix N as gospel (despite the claims of the Pundit). But many many people (including the Pundit?) treat Appendix C as gospel. That's silly. Don't be silly.

Think for yourself.

For RPG Pundit.

Author's Notes: Again, I reserve the right to change anything. The dungeon is meant to be fun, but not thoroughly comic. However, what's neat (to me) is the way at least apparently meaningful patterns can be generated completely randomly. Note the section exclusively inhabited by giant insects. Also, there's definitely a water theme going on here, both on this level and others. Can that be developed into something cool, even with the Sea Horses and all? I can't say for sure, but I think it's worth at least trying.

Despite their perhaps less than imposing name, Giant Hogs are some of the most fearsome creatures we have met so far, surpassed only by the Lesser Vampires on the 2nd level. One would think that 5 Giant Hogs with 6 hit dice, that each do 2-12 hits of damage would be more than a match for a group of 3rd level adventurers (just two hits would kill the average full-strength such character). Remember all hit dice are six-siders (3rd level Magic-Users only have 2) and most humanoid and non-humanoid creatures only do one six-sided die of damage.

Section A: Dungeon of Lights

Empty
Empty
Monster & Treasure: 2 Piercers
Monster & Treasure: 12 Mermen
Empty
Empty
Empty
Monster: 1 Duellist
Empty
Empty
Treasure
Empty
Empty
Monster & Treasure: 100 Fire Beetles
Empty

Section B: Hogs

Monster & Treasure: 5 Giant Hogs

Section C: The Drowned World 2 (Lair of the Rabid Sea Horses)

Monster: 2 Piercers
Empty
Empty
Monster & Treasure: 1 Giant Tick
Monster & Treasure: 1 Cave Creeper
Monster & Treasure: 5 Orcs
Monster & Treasure: 1 Cave Creeper
Monster & Treasure: 7 Giant Rats
Monster: 11 Orcs
Empty
Monster: 23 Fire Beetles
Empty
Monster: 18 Fire Beetles
Monster & Treasure: 6 Shriekers
Empty
Monster & Treasure: 1 Giant Hog
Empty
Empty
Empty
Monster & Treasure: 240 Sea Horses
Monster & Treasure: 2 Wererats

Section D: Order of the Screaming Skull vs. the Elfin Marines

Empty
Empty
Monster: 6 Diabolists
Monster & Treasure: 14 Elves

Section E: House of Insects

Empty
Monster: 3 Giant Moths
Empty
Monster: 3 Giant Moths
Empty
Treasure
Monster & Treasure: 1 Giant Bee
Empty
Empty
Empty
Empty
Empty
Empty
Monster & Treasure: 2 Huge Spiders
Monster: 110 Giant Bees
Empty
Treasure
Monster: 1 Large Spider
Empty
Empty
Monster: 5 Giant Flies
Empty
Treasure
Empty

Why a temple to her? Because there are only three rooms in the section and it sounds more grandiose and interesting than "1 Android hiding in room". Also there is only one of her. Perhaps her synthetic brain has gone a little off, and she now believes herself to be a goddess, using her laser pistol to fry unbelievers.

Section A: Temple of the Android

Treasure
Empty
Monster & Treasure: 1 Android

Section B: Hall of Statues

Treasure
Monster & Treasure: 13 Goblins
Empty
Monster & Treasure: 80 Goblins
Monster: 1 Lion
Empty
Empty
Monster: 2 Evil Thieves
Monster & Treasure: 1 Basilisk
Empty
Empty
Treasure
Monster: 2 Calots
Empty
Empty
Empty
Empty
Empty
Empty
Treasure
Empty
Empty
Treasure
Treasure
Monster: 14 Kobolds
Monster: 1 Basilisk

Idea for those 240 Sea Horses: Let's make them giant and green and controlled by virtually-nude maidens with tridents! Nah, that was already done in 5E. Not.
For people with iPhones: I should have called it "Temple of the Headless Android".
Background to the Dungeon: I think I hinted at this in one of my Google+ posts (though not in the blog itself) but the idea is simple: After the Witch put a curse on Sleeping Beauty--something like, "you will sleep until kissed by someone pure of heart"--Sleeping Beauty was of course spirited away to somewhere where people pure of heart would have difficulty obtaining access to her cheek. Her father, the king, then went mad (as you might too if your daughter had been kidnapped by a Witch) and the kingdom went to ruin. It is now a foul place. Meanwhile, the Witch found and/or dug out and constructed a dungeon beneath Sleeping Beauty's now abandoned castle. There she lured or captured various "pets" and invited others in. The idea was to guard Sleeping Beauty from suitors, but also to create a magnet that would attract optimistic adventurers from all parts of the world where they would subsequently be slimed or chomped or fried to death or whatever, as the Witch observed it all with sadistic glee from her crystal ball. If they made it far enough, then they could be charmed and added to her growing entourage of slaves. Also, for the Witch it was fun to live in a luxury apartment beneath a horrific maze brimming with monsters. That's actually the life goal of most Witches.
Geography of the Dungeon: I envision it as ten to twelve levels. I'd like to Jaquay it, perhaps primarily by centering it around a shaft that potentially goes all the way down. It would be spooky and scary, with a rickety stairway and mist wafting up, etc. This is how the Witch, as well as other powerful monsters get out, without the rigmarole of slogging back and forth through the, so to speak, lower-class housing. I've never seen a dungeon that does this precisely. Perhaps there are arguments against it. Any thoughts?
Are the Levels Too Small? So, there are 1-6 sections of 1-40 rooms per level, giving an average of 70 rooms, 20-25 of them occupied by monsters. However, the actual rolls yielded 90-100 rooms per level. But this is still only two-thirds of the level size of Stonehell, which to me is sort of the gold standard of megadungeons. One plausible principle of a megadungeon, I think, is that if you want to try, you can clear or mostly clear a dungeon level and then gain a class level (if you haven't been slimed, chomped, fried, etc.). But if the level is too small, then that obviously becomes too easy. I think I will add a few sections per level, as some of them seem pretty thin to me. The result will be a sprawl with the same rough averages as Stonehell but looking less, so to speak, symmetrical.
Randomness is an Imagination Pump not a Straight Jacket or a Suicide Pact with Stupidity: Well, that title is pretty self-explanatory. Consider these points:
If They're Cool, I'll Let Them In, Whatever the Dice Say: There are roughly 300 distinct monsters in Seven Voyages of Zylarthen's Book of Monsters, but even if I expand the number of rooms, some of them will inevitably not come up in the rolls. But if they are particularly cool, it would be a crime not to add them.
Inappropriate for Dungeons: The Monster Level Tables on pp. 10-14 include ALL monsters, not just monsters conventionally found in dungeons. Now, a few results assigning non-standard creatures (such as that Boar in the test Dungeon) are perhaps neat. But if 20% are like that, then that might be weird-stupid, not weird-cool.
Too Many Watery Creatures: This might be the case with watery monsters. Odds are you will get more of them than in your standard dungeon. Now maybe it is a watery dungeon. But in that case, every Zylarthen dungeon will be watery on average if rolled randomly. On this theme, exhibit A is those Sea Horses. Now, there are 240 of them on 3rd level! I might be able to make that work, but then again I might not. And you haven't yet met the multiple Giant Squids and Water Nagas on the 6th level! Upon consideration, some will be edited out and replaced.
Too Many Friendlies: Stocking a dungeon with some allies or at least some potential allies is cool. But too many is sort of weird. You haven't seen it yet but there are 420+ Elves on the 5th level. Why? Keep in mind that in Zylarthen, Elves are Lawful. Oh, and I forgot to say that in that same section there are Blink Dogs, Werebears and Silver Dragons. What are all those diverse good guys doing down there? Now, I think there are four ways to go on this: a) They're just there for whatever reason. Okay, but frankly I think that's dumb. b) They're evil versions of the standard monsters--Drow or whatever. For multiple reasons I don't want to go down that route for Zylarthen. It's not that Elves need to be Lawful. I could have made them Chaotic a la Poul Anderson's Three Hearts and Three Lions. But I think it's just too pat to say that all races, or all Lawful races, have flip sides. It's a cliche. c) They could have been charmed or whatever by the Witch. I'm going to consider that, but I'm not sure it's the right answer. Or, finally, d) just re-roll them. I'm inclining to that right now.

Well, as Gary Gygax might have said: Divide the jewelry and bag those coppers! Onward and downward!

Adventure: Proteus Sinking.
Author: Bjorn Warmedal.
Publisher: Geoffrey McKinney (Psychedelic Fantasies), 2014.
Compatibility: Any Old School edition or clone.
Recommended Character Levels: 1-3.
Availability: PDF: $2.95 or Pay What You Want.

Here's an excerpt from the description of all Psychedelic Fantasies products:

These modules revel in unconstrained imagination. Every monster, every magic item, and every magic spell is a unique and never-before-seen creation of the author. No orcs, fireballs, or +1 swords will be found within. Leave the familiar behind to explore hitherto undreamed of wonders…

Proteus Sinking is an utterly charming low-level adventure with a sort of whimsical science-fiction setting. Since it is the most recent of Geoffrey McKinney's (of Carcosa fame) Psychedelic Fantasies I am sort of working backwards here. But I heard about the module after briefly meeting the author online. So I looked at the Preview on RPGNow and was immediately hooked by the unique setting. I'm going to quote the "Background" in full:

The Globonauts are bipedal slime creatures of a fluorescent blue colour. They travel through space and dimensions to find beauty and happiness, attempting to discern how these qualities come to be and how best to preserve them. They do not understand happiness themselves, however, as they are mostly in a melancholic mood.

During their travels their ship, the Proteus, was somehow infected with a powerful psychotropic virus, which eventually corrupted the entire ship and caused it to crash in a dark and disgusting swamp. The ship now lies propped up on top of a tentacle monster that at the same time tries to enter the ship to plunder it of anything organic (read: edible) and prevents the ship from sliding into the depths of the swamp.

All Globonauts, being tightly integrated into the dimensional energies of the ship, now feel confused and depressed. They dare not leave the ship – in fact they might not even be aware of the possibility – and they spend their time trying to survive mentally. This includes holding a perpetual colourful disco in one of the rooms on the ship, imbibing fluids and substances that all Globonauts feel is part of the activities of a proper party.

See. Now you're hooked.

Psychedelic Fantasy modules contain no art--color or otherwise. It's therefore a brilliant stratagem to incorporate exploding color into the name. That's a compliment not a criticism. The PDF is entirely black-and-white text. But when I think of it, I imagine those very blue Globonauts.

I hope the author will pardon me if I didn't keep thinking of the ship as similar to the one in The Awful Green Things from Outer Space, with the Globonauts and their mutated pet Spiderlings (made out of jelly, of course) as sort of an alternating cross between crew and slime.

As with Green Things, there are various random outcomes that could be beneficial, harmful or strange but are always cool. These are summed up in the tables--"What is in the Globonaut Chest?""What does that button/switch do?""What happens when the pipe breaks?" and "Random Mutations".

One of the central ideas of the adventure is that everyone an everything on the ship is affected by whether the ship as a whole is lawful, neutral or chaotic. This status is in turn dependent on the mix of green or pink fluid connected to each of three disembodied brains, which the characters may be able to affect, intentionally or otherwise.

There are 34 rooms on the ship, most containing an alien derived something that the adventurers will find mysterious, wondrous, fantastic and perhaps deadly. Plus those tentacles are often in residence. Though the links to the dark fantasy of Carcosa or Lamentations of the Flame Princess are obvious, I think this adventure would be perfect for children (with a few modifications--perhaps replacing the mutant humanoid navigators and their disembodied brains with robot bodies and robot heads, for example).

This module is a triumph of a unique, one-session adventure. For $2.50 it captivated me for an hour, making me think and smile. I would love to run it, especially with a group of children for whom Game of Thrones is not the be-all and end-all of imaginative fantasy. Since my three-year old daughter was captivated by the Fiend Folio the other night (I had inadvertently left it on the coffee table while sorting things), perhaps that's only a few years away...

“Daddy, what is that?”

“That’s a Bunyip, darling.”

“Oh, a Bunyip.”

“Daddy, what is that?”

“That’s a Son of Kyuss, darling.”

“Oh. A Son of Kyuss. I don’t like them, Daddy.”

Yes, I think this is art.

The OSR and the Old School products that it draws from is as much about aesthetics as anything else. And in turn, aesthetics is as much about the overall presentation as it is about, say, any particular illustration. Finally, fun cover hype (when it is justified) is part of the overall presentation.

Here it is for $9.00 (or $22.20, adjusting for inflation). Why should you buy it? Here are a few reasons:

It's a fascinating Swords & Sorcery World!
There's a Huge 34" x 44" Judge's Map of the City State!
Also, there's a 17" x 22" Player's Map!
With a Forty Page Guide!
it's a Huge Referee's Guide for Fantasy Games!
And it also includes Thunderhold, a 11" x 17" Castle of the Dwarven King!
There are Two Booklets of Rules, Rumors and Renegades!
And Ten Dungeon Levels!
It's endorsed by Dave Arneson, Famous Fantasy Game Author!
And The Entire Playing Aid Includes Seven Mapsheets & Eighty Pages...

It's like an ad from your one of your childhood comic books: 500 plastic soldiers AND 15 pieces of artillery AND 500 enemy soldiers AND three individually molded, authentically designed jeeps, for only $2.99 plus shipping! (please allow 7-12 weeks for delivery, no C.O.D.s).

The cover hype of City State was justified. This is not the first edition, but it's substantially similar. Apparently when it first came out it blew everyone away. It blew me away when I saw it.

An entire city?!! And Ten Dungeon Levels?!! And Thunderhold (just in case)?!!

Okay, so in small print we read: "Fantasy Game System Not Included". Presumably you have one of those if you've managed to get this far. Also, the "Recommended Age" is "15 and up". That just makes it all the richer if you're younger.

Speaking of 15-year olds, that warrior on the flying horse was drawn by someone who was still two years away from that. I'm going to quote a full passage on this from Fight On! #3:

The Origin of the "Flying Turkey" by Bob Bledsaw II: I was a lad of thirteen when the first boxes of printed Judges Guild product got stacked in my bedroom. I had aspirations of being an artist, with some talent in cartoon-ing. My father came to me and said that he needed a logo for the company, perhaps a man riding a dragon instead of a horse, “waving a cutlass like one of Teddy Roosevelt’s Roughriders.” A dragon felt a bit too TSR-ish, so I offered a Pegasus, as it was horse-like enough, and he agreed. I drew the “flying turkey” in 30 minutes, and off he went to have it printed. It was in pencil with intricate shading and detail, but the printer informed him that it would work better in multipurpose application if it was inked. Dad took out an engineering .00 pen from his pocket (a leftover from his work at General Electric) and inked it quickly on the counter while the printer looked on. Because of his rush, he failed to ink the fingers of the raised right hand and accidentally faced it back. That is why the ‘flying turkey’, as he called it, has, if you look closely, a left hand on his right arm.

Let's be honest. Those days are gone, and they're not coming back.

Right?

Fight On!

Calling all and only all those Brains of Earth.

It's a Jack Vance writing contest!

Compose a snippet in the style of Vance, most likely dialogue, but it doesn't have to be, and post it in the comments for this blog post.

Yeah. You actually have to think for this one. But you are one of the Brains...

I'll judge the winner and he or she shall receive a Psychedelic Fantasies adventure PDF from RPGNow, either Proteus Sinking (reviewed in this space a few days ago), or another of your choice.

Okay, the prize is not massive, but though I am a rich man in the ideal, my current account of terces is not extensive in the actual. According to the Gods, this is not atypical. Remind me to ask them about this sometime.

Here are three imitations I wrote myself. The first was composed in slightly altered form for a private letter. I hope the recipient doesn't mind if I make it public. I like it the best. But my wife prefers the third one:

"Your taste is exquisite," said Pantoflac. "My work is the toast of nine worlds. That I am wanted on eight of them is of no account."

"No account?" said his companion.

"No account to me," replied Pantoflac. "Nor to the universe, which I've found to be mute on such things. The true artist is above the material concerns of other men. Expend five terces to refill our flutes and I will elaborate on this theorem."

“The outcome here is inevitable. Surely you know that,” yelled the Dragonette, who while gaining a full one hundred feet on Cudgel since the river, was now noticeably drooping, making only a few short flying hops. “But I grow weary of the chase. Wait for me at the stone by the next turn. I promise I will be quick.”

“Agreed,” yelled Cudgel over his shoulder. “But why not rest awhile yourself? When you recover I shall be waiting for you at the next stone.”

“You are a clever adversary,” replied the Dragonette, “when I eat you it will be with mixed emotions.”

“Not all so clever as that. I believe I left my money pouch back in your hut. I hope you didn’t leave the door open in the rush of the pursuit!”

“Ha ha!” cried the Dragonette. “I find this banter restorative.” And with a spring he was again in the air and quickly began to accelerate.

“I find your person not unappealing,” said the woman. “And I confess to feeling a certain impulse to appreciate it further.”

“I’m truly grateful for that, Madam, as, though I am a wealthy man, I have at the moment but three terces on my person.”

“Then I will have to appreciate it at a distance,” she said laughing, and moved towards the two strangers who had just entered the room.

It's for the fun of it.

Let's give it a week.

Good luck! And may the Grues remain distracted in your presence!

Elves. I hate them.

This is the strange level that I was referring to in the second set of Notes here.

Again, it is the randomly generated "raw" version that will certainly be adjusted.

Section A: What Are All These Good Guys Doing Here?

Monster & Treasure: 80 Elves
Empty
Empty
Empty
Monster & Treasure: 130 Elves
Monster: 17 Duellists
Monster: 16 Blink Dogs
Empty
Empty
Empty
Empty
Treasure
Empty
Monster & Treasure: 210 Elves
Monster: 2 Werebears
Monster & Treasure: 5 Very Young Silver Dragons
Empty
Monster & Treasure: 10 Tigers
Empty
Empty
Empty
Empty
Empty
Empty
Empty
Empty
Empty
Treasure
Empty
Monster & Treasure: 1 Invisible Stalker
Empty
Empty
Monster & Treasure: 8 Giant Hogs
Treasure
Monster: 1 Giant Hog

Section B: Doppelgängers, Flying Creatures, Sea Creatures and More Hogs

Empty
Empty
Monster: 8 Giant Hogs
Monster & Treasure: 7 Griffins
Empty
Empty
Empty
Empty
Treasure
Monster: 6 Giant Hogs
Empty
Monster & Treasure: 1 Griffin
Treasure
Empty
Monster: 4 Doppelgängers
Empty
Empty
Empty
Empty
Empty
Monster & Treasure: 1 Sicarian
Monster & Treasure: 2 Tritons
Monster: 9 Giant Octopi
Treasure
Monster: 6 Doppelgängers

Section C: Okay, I'm Rooting For the Cyborgs

Empty
Empty
Empty
Empty
Monster & Treasure: 100 Elves
Empty
Monster & Treasure: 90 Elves
Treasure
Treasure
Monster & Treasure: 5 Cyborgs
Monster & Treasure: 1 Phansigar
Monster & Treasure: 150 Elves
Monster: 6 Giant Hogs
Empty

Section D: Shriekers

Empty
Treasure
Monster: 14 Shriekers

Before proceeding, here is the Zylarthen version of these fiends:

TENTACLE MEN:Hit Dice: 8+3. Attacks: 1-6 x 4, brain attack mind blast. Armor Class: 5. Move:12. Alignment: Chaos. Languages: Types G or E. Number Appearing: 1-4. % In Lair: 50%. Treasure: Class 4. Description:These grotesque horrors are rumored to live in inaccessible ancient communities many miles beneath the earth. Unluckily, individuals and small groups occasionally emerge on inscrutable errands into the deepest caverns or dungeon levels. Each of these humanoid creatures stands slightly taller than a man and has four tentacles surrounding its mouth. If a tentacle hits, it will penetrate to the brain in 1-4 turns (unless the creature is killed in the interim) causing death with no saving throw. The creature may also make a Mind Blast attack each turn, affecting those in a cone 60’ long with a 10’ base. Those inside the cone must make a special saving throw with a base chance of success of 11 on a twenty-sided die. Those failing their save will suffer effects as determined by an eight-sided die:

Die Roll	Effect

1	Coma—three days

2	Confused (victim will act according to the results of rolling two dice: 2-5: attack the Tentacle Man or others in its party, 6-8: do nothing, or 9-12: attack his own party)—five turns.

3	Death

4	Enrage (victim must immediately attempt to engage the Tentacle Man in melee and attack)—seven turns

5	Feeblemind (victim’s actual intelligence drops to the equivalent of an animal)—permanent.

6	Insanity—permanent

7	Sleep—one hour

8	Stun—three turns

The special save will be modified by distance (-2 if the victim is closer than 20’, -1 if the victim is 20’ to 40’ away) and by the victim’s wisdom modifier to Turn Undead. In addition, all Magic-Users will be at +4 to save.

Sleeping Beauty's Dungeon Continues...

Section A: Abominations from the Depths of the Earth

Monster: 1 Troll
Empty
Empty
Monster & Treasure: 3 Tentacle Men
Empty
Empty
Monster & Treasure: 2 Giant Spiders

Section B: Asian Holiday

Empty
Monster & Treasure: 2 Ogre Magi
Empty
Empty
Empty
Monster: 1 Ogre Magi
Treasure
Empty
Monster & Treasure: 4 Griffins
Monster & Treasure: 6 Water Nagas
Empty
Empty
Empty
Monster & Treasure: 140 Giant Flies
Empty
Empty
Monster & Treasure: 1 Wooly Rhinoceros
Empty
Empty
Empty
Empty
Empty
Monster: 120 Snakes
Empty
Empty
Empty
Empty
Monster: 1 Hydra (6 heads)

Section C: Potpourri of Death

Empty
Empty
Empty
Treasure
Monster: 2 Giant Squids
Treasure
Monster: 16 Lesser Vampires
Empty
Monster: 7 Sicarians
Monster & Treasure: 1 Invisible Stalker
Monster & Treasure: 16 Gelatinous Cubes
Empty
Monster & Treasure: 2 Bravos
Empty
Empty
Treasure
Monster: 1 Incantator
Empty
Empty
Empty
Treasure
Empty
Monster: 60 Berserkers
Monster & Treasure: 6 Phansigars
Empty
Empty
Monster & Treasure: 11 Bravos
Empty
Monster: 4 Manticoras
Monster & Treasure: 1 Bear
Monster & Treasure: 1 False Gnome
Empty
Treasure
Monster & Treasure: 100 Giant Bees
Empty

Section D: Mind the Ceilings (and other places)

Treasure
Monster& Treasure: 5 Ochre Jelly
Empty
Empty
Monster& Treasure: 1 Lurker Above

Section E: Guild of the Six Fingers, continued

Monster: 1 Hydra (5 heads)
Treasure
Empty
Treasure
Empty
Empty
Monster: 15 Harpaces
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Empty

This wonderful family movie references all sorts of vintage adventure games and hex wargames--Top Secret, most obviously, but there are also scenes that feature snippets of Traveller, the original AD&D Monster Manual, the Players Handbook, Blitzkreig and others. It's centered around a game store.

Henry Thomas, of E.T. fame, plays a boy who has recently lost his mother. His father (Dabney Coleman) is a good man, but doesn't understand his son's attachment to games and fantasy, thinking them a stand-in for the boy's sadness. In turn, the boy has an imaginary friend, the super spy Jack Flack (also played by Coleman) who is an answer to what he perceives as his father's distance.

The boy witnesses a real murder involving the theft of government secrets (disguised as a Cloak & Dagger videogame cartridge). Of course no one believes it, except (sort of) for his young female partner in crime (Christina Nigra). But that doesn't stop the bad guys from coming after him.

Here's a clip from the middle of the film:

Michael Murphy plays a lazily slouchy no-good, as always.

Beware the three-fingered woman.

The kids communicate on early 80's walkie-talkies. And the film makes brilliant Hitchcockian use of the Santa Fe canals.

The film is surprising, suspenseful, frightening (though appropriate for children), funny and ultimately quite moving. The ending made me cry thirty years ago, as well as now. Though this time I had to hide it from my kids.

But enough of that sentimentality (as Jack Flack might say). The other guys lost because they weren't good enough. Pick up your weapon and get moving...

This post will be annoying to some of you in that you were probably expecting a pretty color picture. Instead you will be getting many black and white pictures.

And the featured artist of the day is not some 1970's luminary but well, me. Or rather, the featured artist is the brilliant John Dickson Batten, but the post is about what I did to him.

And if that doesn't irritate you enough, be warned, I will be doing some bragging (explained below).

The post is about how I edited the illustrations of Batten to better suit their inclusion in my four booklet game, Seven Voyages of Zylarthen. The bragging is not how about how great I am compared to you. I am not great compared to you. I expect that most of you reading this post are more experienced/adept/talented at editing illustrations than I am, and that many of you are familiar with illustrations programs that I haven't even heard of. No. I'm bragging because I did it. I did it. Knowing nothing about editing or graphic design, and being generally uncoordinated and not artistic, I nevertheless figured out (temporarily) how to (arguably) do a passable job at it. That's an accomplishment I want to brag about.

A few months ago I said this about Batten:

Finally, in regards to setting, I should mention the artwork of Zylarthen. There are close to a hundred pieces, all by the same artist--the turn of the century illustrator John Dickson Batten. I said elsewhere that once I had chosen the works of Batten, the art actually began to inform the setting and even the writing. Batten's works appeared in children's fairy-tale books. But appropriately enough they were also from a diversity of sources--English, Celtic, general European, Middle-Eastern and Indian. In my humble view, the art was not merely the best art I could find for free, but was in fact precisely right for what I was trying to do. I couldn't have paid for anything better. To the extent that Zylarthen as a visual or physical product succeeds it does so due to Batten. But equally importantly, to the extent the setting and tone are interesting or attractive is also I think due to Batten. Indeed, he deserves an entire post, and will get one soon.

In the review of Zylarthen on the Save or Die! podcast. DM Liz paid the product one of its finest compliments do date (I think). To paraphrase, despite the fact that the art was public domain from approximately a hundred years ago, each piece still seemed appropriate to the subject or the page. It enhanced the work rather than looking just tacked on to fill up space. (Then her husband emphasized the point by making a joke: "hey what's that 57' Chevy doing there?")

I think it worked for three reasons:

The art itself. Now, Batten didn't draw illustrations for dungeon expeditions, obviously. But the exotic, fairytale vibe was exactly right for what I was trying to do.
Having drawn hundreds of illustrations for nine books, there were enough of them so that I could make informed choices as to appropriate pieces to use.
I edited most of the illustrations. Obviously many of them worked on their own without any (or hardly any) touch ups. But I think if I hadn't edited the rest, they would have looked forced or slightly inappropriate. The editing was a crucial part of the process.

And some of the editing was for tone. Many of Batten's fairytale drawings were comical. I didn't want a severe tone, but I didn't wan't it silly either.

So part of this is bragging (see above). Again, not I'm so great, but, rather I did it. Most of it was just whiting stuff out, which is easy and actually almost cathartic.

I used the free program Gimp. I only learned 5% of it, but it was all I needed.

In a few cases I actually pasted a few images. In two, I actually drew small bits of my own. Yes, once I actually sketched a foot.

But the main message is, it wasn't hard. If I could do it, you can. Many of you could do it with your eyes closed.

So enough of these boring words. The rest of the post will feature a long line of actual examples. I think this sort of thing is interesting, but you are pardoned if you think it goes on for too long.

Before precedes After.

To me, the odd hand angle was reminiscent of the Judges Guild "Flying Turkey".

The Ducks were silly.

The original was too busy.

This was one of the only cases where I pasted something in (I duplicated the dagger). I don't know. I thought a second dagger might be more effective in combat than a mask.

Better just a corpse than a corpse with a silly man with a spear standing over him.

I love this monster. I think it's a Solian.

This was ironic in that I took a fantastical drawing and made it more mundane. The Boar went from two heads to one.

From silly to (hopefully) sinister.

The original was too well-known to leave as is.

Pure greed.

Dungeons don't have beds. Okay, maybe they don't have curtains either, but still...

The original was fine but the bird didn't fit.

This was my second choice for the magic cover. The first was a great drawing, but it just didn't seem to work on its own. I think this one works. I liked the contrast in that it was the only cover not featuring a person.

Away with the little man!

I'm not sure this totally works but people seem to like it.

These bottles were lifted from various places.

Okay, I'm proud of these drums (look on the top). Also, note that I removed the lute from the otherwise identical picture on the back cover of Volume 4 (see the blog heading picture). It just seemed too much. But that's probably just me.

I'm also proud of this. I edited out the arm and of course re-angled it.

Too many angels, or bird-women or whatever.

I love this sullen creature.

Again, the original was too busy...

So there it is. Part of the method to my madness. Perhaps exposing the method was too much--oh dear, the magic is gone! But I figure we're all adults here and are enough interested in the craft of game design such that the above might be entertaining and useful.

It's not perfect. I know that. But we tried. This is part of how we tried...

Actual Screenshot from my computer, 11:04 AM Sunday 16 November 2014

Okay, so when I ran into the bedroom screaming "I made it!" my wife looked at me like I was crazy. She often looks at me like that, so I wasn't offended. But her expression soon changed when she saw it.
"That's targeted advertising, honey."
I have no idea what she meant by that but I think she's jealous.

(Just so everyone knows, I don't usually read the Drudge Report. I just happened to have been doing scholarly research for a paper I'm writing on the psychological processes of RPGPundit.)

Lulu's three day 30% off sale on print books ends at midnight tonight. I'm not sure what time zone it is, so to be safe I would assume it is East Coast. Use the code FLASH30. It's a great opportunity to buy those OSR products you've perhaps been flirting with buying for so long. (I'm describing me. I often make at least five visits to a book page before I get up the courage to buy). And if any potential customers are feeling guilty about it, the 30% discount only cuts into Lulu's profits, not those of the authors. Thus, the authors love these offers.

For the fun of it, I put together some price comparisons of the original TSR offerings (plus 5e) with some of the the current Lulu offerings (with the discount, of course). The inflation adjustment was taken from here. Though, a few things are left out (such as shipping) and one could debate issues involving the relative quality levels of the bindings and paper, etc.,overall the comparison is obviously quite favorable. Indeed, one could buy the complete set of all six of the clones described below (in their hardcover editions, where available) for only half the price of the three "core" 5e rulebooks.

Back in the Day (plus 5e)	Original Price	Inflation Adj. Price

Dungeons & Dragons (1 box, 1974)	$10.00	$48.16
Holmes (1 box, 1977)	$9.95	$39.18
AD&D (3 books, 1977-79)	$29.85	$107.75
B/X Dungeons & Dragons (2 boxes, 1981)	$19.90	$51.98
5e (3 books, 2014)	$149.85	$149.85

	Original	With 30%
Right Here Right Now	Price	Discount

OSRIC (paperback)	$15.50	$10.85
Basic Fantasy (hardcover)	$15.76	$11.03
Basic Fantasy (paperback)	$6.37	$4.46
Labyrinth Lord (hardcover)	$31.95	$22.37
Labyrinth Lord (paperback)	$21.95	$15.37
Sword & Wizardry WhiteBox (hardcover)	$18.99	$13.29
Sword & Wizardry WhiteBox (paperback)	$9.95	$6.97
Seven Voyages of Zylarthen (4 booklets)	$23.80	$16.67
Delving Deeper (paperback)	$4.95	$3.47

Come on guys, what would you rather have, Delving Deeper or a cheap pint of beer? Swords & Wizardry WhiteBox or a good pint of beer? Seven Voyages of Zylarthen or a martini at the Ritz? Er, okay, don't think about that for too long. Just go to the Lulu page...

World of Adventure, created by Riley Swift in 2006, is our first video entry in the OSR Art Friday series. Swift, who was already known in gaming circles for his set of Dungeon Majesty actual play videos, put this together for a fan movie contest. It won of course.

It's a perfect homage to early 80's D&D (has anyone created a more perfect one?), using seemingly found and modified TSR art as well as "original" pieces such as the big-hair nymphs or sexy shamans or whatever they are exactly, beckoning to the viewer in the opening seconds. There are dungeon corridors, more dungeon corridors, slithering things, skeletons and skulls and more skeletons and skulls including a giant skull with flashing jewel eyes. There are references to Spelljammer as well as tavern scenes and floofy wilderness settings with bards and maidens. My three-old son was looking at the video very intently and seriously, but then burst into a spontaneous and joyous laugh when the talking tree appeared.

Scott Martin of the metal/punk bands 400 Blows, Crom (the American one) and Big Business created the original heavy metalish soundtrack. Speaking of which, the whole video is sort of a shorter and more fun version of the 1981 film Heavy Metal. Again, remember, World of Adventure was made in 2006.

Swift would later be hired by HASBRO to use pieces of the movie to create thirty second television ads for the "Red Box" version of D&D 4e. Many Old Schoolers predictably sniffed at this as an attempt to portray a bad game in nostalgic terms it hadn't earned. They were right of course, but the ads are still fun.

Dungeon Majesty (whose 2004 trailer is here) features Swift and four ladies sitting around a small table playing D&D 3.5 in a relatively demure if nerdy manner. However, the greenshot background shows the ladies dressed as their characters in cheesy but cool early 80's style costumes, sneaking through corridors and swinging their weapons. I'm not sure how many episodes there are but they seem to all be available from multiple sites. You either like this sort of thing or you don't. I like this sort of thing.

Swift is a graphic artist and video maker who directed and wrote the Multinauts, with a similar 70's/80's low-budget ambience. His website also features a diverse set of commissioned works ranging from the Intro to the Sophie Grace and Rosie Show, a toddler's website, rock and roll tee-shirts and a Disney Cars video featuring, of all things, the great Stooges song Search and Destroy.

Cool stuff all around. We wish him well.

But most of all, thanks for World of Adventure.

"Someone may beat me, but they are going to have to bleed to do it."

-Steve Prefontaine, proto-Old School gamer.

The winners of the Jack Vance Writing Contest are:

perdustin:

Dear Pfenning, this presumption is unbecoming! I regard myself a grandee of discernment and propriety! If I expend a terce or two, it is only to cultivate the goodwill of the townsfolk. Are we rude mermelants, covetous of one another's turnips, or are we men fortunate enough to share the abundant joys of life?

etc.

and

ScrivenerB:

My disposition is choleric, not sour. Nor is it habitual; it is entirely occasioned on finding your image here, inspecting the contents of my treasure vaults. Is this gratitude, to make use of my own gift to spy on my chambers?

etc. etc.

Each received a small (quite) gift certificate from RPGNow to purchase Proteus Sinking or another product of their choice.

In my opinion, the multiple entries of the above writers were pretty brilliant. You may find the others in the comments section of the original post.

Have either of you thought of going the Michael Shea route?

Congratulations again!

On a related note, vfults was the winner of the Seven Voyages of Zylarthen Name Shortening Contest, but I have yet to hear from him or her. Please step forward and claim your prize! Does anyone here know them so they can be reminded?

The deadline is when the sun dies or I go broke, whichever comes first. That should not be reassuring. The sun has been looking quite dim in cold Chicago recently, and I am currently on my third glass of expensive bourbon...

This festive scene is from one of six covers that Jack Crane drew for Dragon Magazine. He also did some interior art for the magazine and wrote a short story, "The Legacy of Hortus", which appeared in Issue # 87.

Scott Taylor of Black Gate: Adventures in Fantasy Literature, recently did an illuminating interview with the artist here, from which we took most of the information below. Among other things, Crane stated:

I’ve always been a bit of a non-conformist, as is probably the case with most artists and creative types. And I’ve always rejected the “norm”, meaningless rules, and established styles for almost everything. My style of drawing is … my style of drawing … as is the case with most artists. And when I first started working for Dragon I was unambiguous about insisting that I never create art depicting one human being inflicting death or injury upon another human being … or any other sentient beings. This seems to be a predictable response to having spent four years in the military with one of those years in a war zone. Kim (Mohan) was perfectly comfortable with those parameters.

Fair enough. His pieces stand out from other fantasy offerings of the day partly for their whimsical humor and Art Nouveau-style use of shading and colors. Add another important mark to Old School art: it was diverse.

Luckily, he didn't apply his otherwise laudable philosophy to holiday turkeys.

The other covers, including the iconic Tree-Men in the Dismal Swamp (# 54) and the unforgettable Andragon (# 96) can be seen in the same Black Gate post, among other places.

Since the 1980's he has had a great diversity of non-fantasy art commissions including newspapers, trade, hobby and craft publications as well as three-dimensional legal displays for law firms. Recently he publicly returned to fantasy art, doing some work for Gygax Magazine. Great stuff.

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!

There aren't any.

That is, Zylarthen avoids distinguishing, say, 1st level player character Fighting-Men from any other able-bodied fighting types such as non-player character soldiers, mercenaries, etc., at least in any general sense. Among other things, all use the same attack and saving throw tables, though for simplicity, soldiers and mercenaries might sometimes use the "Up to 1" hit dice row of the Monsters Attacking table if keeping track of their weapons becomes more trouble than it's worth.

Now, note that I use the phrase in any general sense. There are a few specific ways in practice that player-characters will differ from other types.

Members of the Fighting-Men class (whether player characters or non-player characters) get 1+1 die of hit points as opposed to simply 1 die of hit points for all other able-bodied types.
All starting player characters get as many hit point roll mulligans as they need so as to guarantee their hit point roll will be at least 4.
All player-character or non-player character members of a class have the chance to gain levels by accumulating experience points.
Only player characters or important non-player characters ("important" probably ruling out mercenaries etc.) get to roll on the Zero Hit Point table, thus having a chance to cheat death, if only temporarily.

That said, it is implicit in Zylarthen that the difference between, say, a classed Fighting-Man and a soldier is merely one of, so to speak, initiative or chosen circumstance. It's certainly not genetic or metaphysical or anything like that. So, for example, when player characters have mercenaries arrive in response to their advertisements--anything from Barbarians (1 silver a day) to Cataphracts (20 silvers a day)--the rules make it clear that they could either be hired in their "ordinary" role, or if the player characters desire, any of them could be invited to be "close associates"--Fighting-Men with the potential to gain levels--as long as they are promised at least half-shares in any treasure.

So, in essence, the only thing that separates you (as a starting character) from that "typical" or "average" guy with a sword over there is that you're brave enough (or stupid enough) to tramp into that dungeon a day's ride away. Or rather, you are that soldier, but you have a desire to make something of yourself by tramping into that dungeon. This may or may not be a good thing.

One might say that Zylarthen shares with Dungeon Crawl Classics the idea of the funnel. Except that in Zylarthen, the funnel isn't something that happens before first level; it is first level. That's a bit of an exaggeration but still...

Why did I design the game this way?

Well, first, since Zylarthen was intended to follow OD&D in spirit, I wanted to eliminate as many AD&D accretions as possible. And AD&D made much of the distinction between 0 level and leveled types, among other things introducing the term henchmen for non-player characters you could hire--who had a character class and the potential to gain experience and thus level up--as contrasted with hirelings--who were just "normal" mercenaries. In truth, the idea of a Normal Man with attack numbers inferior to starting player characters was first introduced by Holmes, but I'm not sure whether the idea originated with Holmes or whether he wasn't just giving an early launch to an idea that was being tossed around by the AD&D planners. It's also possible, I suppose, that Gygax or Arneson had intended the 0 level distinction for OD&D but hadn't stated it explicitly, or that it was present in some form in Chainmail. Nevertheless it's not in the OD&D text itself.

Second, adding another row or column (for 0 level types or normal men or whatever) to the attack tables just seems fussy. What's the purpose of it exactly? Why are, say Bandits any better at fighting than the average mercenary you might hire? Or, to put it a different way, why go to the trouble of adding an entirely new class or category of people, just to make it clear that bandits (or player characters) are 5% better? Again, what goal does that serve in game terms?

But finally and most importantly, introducing the concept of 0 level characters was in my view one of the first steps into inducing the players to think of their characters as pumped up superheroes--complete with elaborate back stories and titles, etc.--before they had even raised a sword against a Kobold. The Gygaxian conception outlined in The Dungeon Master's Guide (1979) was almost Nietzschean. Only 1 in 100 humans in the average village, town or city were leveled or even had the potential to level. Needless to say, I find the whole trend to be annoying for about five different reasons.

Here's one of them: I wanted Zylarthen to be in part a game about heroism. And yes, I even felt that it had the potential to teach children about this virtue, at least in some small and non-obnoxious manner, without of course getting in the way of the game's primary purpose--using one's imagination to have fun. Not to sound too curmudgeonly, but the point about heroes and heroines is that they need to earn the title. They're not born but made. Or rather, they make themselves through their own actions. Though, having teachers or role-models can obviously help. The anti-0 level thing is only a small part of promoting this idea, I know, but it is a part.

Those who choose to act as heroes or heroines may succeed completely--killing the monster or saving the land or the prince or whatever, perhaps even getting rich as a reward for their efforts. Or they may succeed only partly. Or they may die in the process.

But it is the act that confers the title.

Six members of the activist group Femen pose in front of WOTC
headquarters before rolling up characters and buying equipment.

There was no OSR Art Friday post yesterday, due to this author's desire to express a day of blog silence in solidarity with three Femen members still detained by Washington authorities.

RENTON, WA, December 5 (AP) – Members of the topless feminist group Femen staged a demonstration today against the “anti-sexual prudery” of the new 5th edition Dungeons & Dragons and against “New School” gaming mechanics in general, stripping down to what one activist called “our sacred chainmail bikinis” in front of the gates of Wizards of the Coast headquarters in suburban Seattle. Three members were arrested.

More than twenty demonstrators stood silently for ten minutes with slogans etched in black marker across their chests, such as, "Imagine the Hell Out of It!", “Take your Clothes Off My Body!” and “Fight On!” They then unfolded a card table and proceeded to “role play” a game of what one demonstrator called “Holmes Basic”, led by an activist wearing nothing above her waist except a three-paneled cardboard screen emblazoned with the words “Dungeon Mistress”.

A spokesperson for Wizards of the Coast commented, “I have no idea why they are mad at us. For the text of 5e we consulted all the experts on game design and gender equality. We believe our product reflects the latest consensus of people whose opinion we care about. Where did we go wrong?” When informed of this statement, one of the demonstrators held up what she called a “twenty sider” and shouted, “Save or die, Fascist!”

“What’s all the fuss about,” said Sally Layton, a software engineer from Microsoft, who happened to be on her way to work. “5e is the new thing by the dominant company in the industry. That means it must be good. So, why are these women, like, getting naked or whatever?”

“I find it appalling and highly offensive,” said Matt Vickers, another software designer, who was recording the event with a high-resolution video camera.

Irina Gygaxocova, a representative of Femen from the Ukraine, said the demonstration was intended to highlight how the corporate patriarchy intended to keep women out of tabletop gaming by making the new editions as stupid and boring as possible. “1974 was a liberation for us. Soon there was so much to choose, including Warriors of Mars, original Boot Hill and Gamma World. It was a love orgy of freedom that lasted for more than a decade. But beginning with 3e, and even more with 4e and now 5e, they tried to re-enslave us with their rules for everything, $50 Core Books and sexually repressive art. (Bleep) them! We can now get whatever OSR games and modules we want from Lulu and RPGNow for less than 1% of the cost of a leather skirt.”

Femen calls its form of protest “hextremism”.

Natalia Arnesoneskva, a Femen member currently serving five years of hard labor in Moldova for possession of a paperbound copy of Labyrinth Lord was more circumspect. Reached for a comment during her weekly five-minutes exercise period, she said, “I support my sisters, but I now feel that edition wars are counter-productive. As long as the game group is having fun, that’s all that matters. I intend to make that point during my next parole hearing.”

Police detained three demonstrators after they refused to remove a banner they had pinned to the company gates. The banner contained the letters “OSR”--thought to be the abbreviation of a political slogan used by Danish feminists. In a press release on their website, Femen stated that lawyers were working to get the three released as soon as possible. “No laws were broken. They’ll be out quicker than the time it takes to fight a melee engagement in 4e.”

Uncharacteristically, the RPG Pundit had no comment.

Seven Voyages of Zylarthen Contest Announcement

Screw "Appendix C"!

Cantico Del Sole

Hogs! Giant Insects! And Stuff Attacking from Underwater! Sleeping Beauty's Dungeon: 3rd Level

Temple of the Android. Sleeping Beauty's Dungeon: 4th Level

Notes on Creating a Zylarthen Dungeon: Part II

Adventure Review: Proteus Sinking (Psychedelic Fantasies Module 8)

OSR Art Friday: Cover of City State of the Invincible Overlord

Jack Vance Writing Contest!

Too Many Damn Elves! Sleeping Beauty's Dungeon: 5th Level

Now it Gets Tough. Sleeping Beauty's Dungeon: 6th Level

Great Adventure Game Movie: Cloak & Dagger

OSR Art Friday: Editing Batten (a long post with too many pictures at the end)

The OSR Explodes Into the Mainstream!

Lulu 30% Off Sale Ends Tonight...

OSR Art Friday: World of Adventure Movie

The Winners!

OSR Art Friday: Cover of The Dragon #67

0 Level Characters in Zylarthen

Femen Demonstration